sighs talk to peiqi and yy yesterday night,
since she say i did not give her a chance to say her piece
then ok i message her
and what is the reply i got i dont want to say anything
it seriously hurts me,
i teared while they talk sighs
thinking of our past memories and now whats happening
you think i am happy?
well i can tell you i am not.
you ask hweechang come talk to me i talked
&hence i gave you another chance but did you speak
no.
sighs thats the night when i tell myself i have given up forever
dont say i did not give you a chance to speak up.
lying on my bed tearing you think i want to?
i ask you for your piece and you tell me youre fed up?
then what do you want me to say
i gave in twice already how many more time you want me to?
& why cant your call us??
we might not know where are your or maybe your have already left
you think we are god to predict whether your are still there??
sighs i have no more comments anymore...
28/4/2007 1.15pm;
i have officially given up
giving you too many chances
& what you said back to me hurts me deeply
so i decided to give up
goodbye to you my trusted friend.

if i do anything to myself dont blame me.sighs

haiis this is the end to the friendship??
is this all i got from two years??
you think i am happy??
you did these to me??
well, i can tell you i aint happy at all, two years of friendship went down the drain.sighs i tried to control my tears but it just drop down.since it has been runied then i am fine with it.
28/4/2007,1.15pm it marks the end to this friendship, i have given up.

thanks peiqi,yy and charmaine for cheering me up.

haiis reach today today early?? i don know reach there weixiang reach there again we studied chinese together...today official start of exams already but i am in no mood for it...chinese paper one first it was easy compo i wrote three pages then ying yong wen 2 next paper chinese paper two this year paper was easy?? i dont know met with yy after my exam walk down met peiqi sighs reach junction eight i decided to take the first move but we end up quarrelling?? haiis i said my piece what about you? i kept quiet thinking of stuffs haiis...studied for awhile went to library for awhile went back to junction eight to meet charmaine at KFC talked to marcus he helped me alot he told me some stuffs.. put down the phone sat at KFC for nearly an hour plus?? i am not sure...yy say she want go home so they pei me wait for bus and they went off...went to thomson and homed.
goodbye to you
goodbye to everything that i knew.
stab me.
i'm hurt but who cares.

haiis sat bus alone myself again sighs...reach school i suddenly felt like i did not know this place well haiis they chatted?? i dont know miss vasuki came went in so cold i dont know then got stomach ache ren reach physics haiis went toliet vomitted sighs why must i be sick one day before the exams haiis english we played handphone games miss sin you are such a great teacher we sign on the card...miss aljunied came in she was so hateful no one liked her she got the questions of our exams in her hand haiis padd peiqi letters during my lesson recess got down early know something made me so damn piss off?? i dont know lah i am so useless must others ask her talk to me one i hate that...chem test miss chew piss off she like everyday bu shuang us de lah siao same test but still hard i tried my best maths did two questions and a few other questions and lesson ended sat with char there help yy write stuffs...peiqi came meet us then yy walked to junction eight pq depress... haiis pq dont depress ok?? tell yy your problems bah she can help you better than what i can help you...met with sara went for tuition haiis the flu almost killed me....

sometimes i wish we could go back to the past if i could get back to the past i will kill myself instantly at least i will have some great memories that i can think of rather than now i die with regret...promise should be broken sometimes...让我病死吧.i will be much happier than now i regret for everything that i have done all the stuffs are just my fault.sorry to those i ignore sorry to those i have shown attitude to.sighs

haiis maybe its just my fault for everything, i want to talk to you but you gave me a cold shoulder how do you expect me to talk to you when youre like this haiis i wish to go back to the past when w look forward in calling you at 10 having so much gossips over the phone but ever since you have got your boyfriend you go like"eh i got to hang up i need to call him" haiis i know i cant be feeling this way cause you got a boyfriend but i seriously dislike him. i want you tell you more things is just that you dont want to listen me out over the phone we usually talk for an hour plus and now is just like a 5 to 10 mins talk and worst still now not even a message or a chat online haiis you think i feel good about it?? well i can tell you a definite no we have not been even talking for two days well now three i want to talk to you but you dont want to?? haiis i wish the clock could turn back in time so that everything will be the same...now i dont even have topic to talk to you about sighs.someone just stab to end all these troubles i have no mood for exams no mood for everything or maybe youre can fufill my last wish treat me like you have never known me before.

sighs fever?? 38.5 i feel like i am dying soon.stab me.

haiis today take early bus saw ryan so i sat with him...reach school myself sighs sit at the parade square and ponder on stuffs for half an hour thats long bah ponder so long i dont get a resolution sucks... weixiang was trying to irritate me?? nvms first period english reach there i slept sighs got a headache i guess i slept throughout the two period next was PE sucks actually got 2.4 but it was raining so cancel sighs got to re jump for the standing broad jump 140 only the floor was so damn slippery?? haiis forget it i cant suceed anything in life i did sit and reach again 43 A grade but i wont get a gold this year sighs...POA had test i dont know how to do at all i am a failure...haiis recess went down ate up for chinese test also ying yong wen so bored so fast finish?? slept for one whole period...maths next i listened i understand i got all correct... haiis after school lew got remedial yy got lesson pq got workshop so it was me alone i sms ahmuii come meet me went to the canteen we crapped lew came they fought muii watch broke while fighting lew pulled it and snap it broke...yy came off to junction eight we talk about stuffs?? mac we sat down and crap about things lew was so slow she dont get what we were saying?? they fetch me to the interchange thanks and i went home...
sighs the minute i step in screaming nagging is this called a home??
sighs can i break the promise once and for all??

can the lightning strike on me i dont mind...sighs slash on my wrist=byebye my troubles...

haiis today reach school early i purposely took the earlier one cause i did not know how to face her sighs...reach school we went to the back to talk pq was angry?? dont know lahs went back to class jia wei was making me laugh thanks guy...bio first three periods folding hearts?? alvin sponsored again cause he wants to make 9999 hearst for his mum so we helped crap about out primary school days real great memories thinking of all my pri school friends how i wish i could return back to then....haiis next lesson CME next is SS i pass my test like 5/10 sighs when i use to get the highest in class but my overall is the second or the highest cause zuo yang also got 36.4 i dont know mine?? recess then chinese sighs e2 girls went for their check up haiis i was the only e1 left so extra the rest is e3 one sighs i slept ponder on problems wrote letter pass to yy, yy come talk to me thanks.... we chatted using the newspaper and a gao zhi after that POA change room already me and muii did our homework after class miss diana koh ask us do what dont know what thing sucks?? went for chem test i dont know how to do sighs went down look for charmaine lew and pq they were replying to letters?? i only replied to one sighs kept quiet dont know what to say....yy came down pass her the letter we talk using the paper...pq made me laugh for a moment?? they went junction eight dad fetch me home...

haiis maybe i should only blame myself its all my fault haiis i guess so there is no one to blame except for myself...i am a bitch.

haiis this morning i decided to take a jog at the park i was bored?? yup so i walked to bishan park there and started running i dont know what happen the heat too strong i walk quite a few times reach home i bathe use com talk to monkey janice then hweechang?? just talked to them ate my lunch and i went off for my tuition peiqi call me ask me whether want go meet them i say i got tuition later than meet so went for tuition yy message me say they coming here meet me i bluff teach go for toliet break went talked to them ii carried on tuition met them at mac after my lesson they ate we were crapping charmaine was sitting so unsightly we captured her photo down real great laugh with yy charmaine and peiqi they followed me to junction eight thanks... we purposely miss one train cause too pack next train hop on back to bishan went to basement for awhile laughs they followed me all the way to my granny house?? they even followed me up i got so freaked out by the cat called my cousin out fetch me they left they were sitting at my granny house down stairs the bball court i went down talked to them and i up again went for dinner while they played bball thanks girls you put a smile on my face today...and they replied me all the same message?? funny but thanks(: .... dinner back to granny house me and my sis critised all the MSU they were ugly?? sorry we were bad and mean to some but 1,7,9.13 were great?? they scored real high and after that we went home.

maybe sometime its better not to sort some things out since our relationship is already like that then let it be...

sorry hweechang&darren; you two cared for me and i am like...haiis
sorry xuefen; i think i have shown you attitude sorrys
sorry peiqi; i promised you once but i broke it thanks for being my listening ear listening to all my complaints
sorry charmaine lew; i influence you in being depress
sorry yy; i did not manage to help you solve your problems
sorry Zhiying; i know 2e3 peeps do care but i dont know how to face my problems
sorry ahmuii; you have been my listening ear but i cant be yours
sorry miss seah; i broke your promise once but thanks for listening to my troubles
sorry janice; you listened to me but i just keep thinking of the bad side of life
sorry dao bin; you gave me advice but i did not care instead i hurt myself?
sorry melvin; you did cared but i ignore?

haiis looking at the above i feel so guitly and feel like a bitch? i ignored those who cared and cheer me up but i just ignored them haiis what can i do not to feel guitly sighs maybe i am a fucking bitch someone who ignores her friend and i am invisible haiis... kill me someone. one slash on my wrist everything will be gone.

haiis i want to put pass word into my blog make it a private one write anything i want into my blog?? haiis today reach school like shit gave pq and yy their letter that i wrote at the playground... how fun at the playground all by myself haiis pondered over some problems first period was maths fun? they were talking about some relationship fingers pointing everywhere miss vasuki did not come free period and it was chemistry alvin ask me what drink i want and i went like pink dolphin any way thanks alvin for the drink.... went up for POA had test i totally did not know what to do?? i just anyhow did it alrights i am bound to fail... haiis out from lesson saw them walk there talk talk for awhile bought sea weed after that i am like invisible to some people's eye haiis my anti depress company your should know better bah....haiis they were happily playing bball while i was like...haiis nevermind sat that for three hours i never talk?? haiis peiqi left and so did we after they played bball haiis sit at school bus stop miss the second bus hopped onto the third bus sat at my house bus stop peiqi called me i did not pick up i called her back haiis i wanted to meet them but cheong peiqi ask me go home she CEO?? so i listened to her talk to her until i reach home...haiis

do i look invisible to your eyes stabbed me kill me someone i hate living living on this whole means nothing to me?? since i am that invisble then you can kill me for all i care seriously i wont mind haiis is like i talk to you and you treat me as invisible haiis sometimes its better for me to close an eye but i have done that many times already?? now if you give me a choice to change to bishan sec or stay in gyss i will transfer to bishan sec....at leastt i am happier there?

today is like haiis i dont know i am just a bitch haiis reach home chat with lew and cheong for a while went to class got 2.4 band members no need to run?? cause they got SYF?? after assembly miss seah come and ask me show her lucky i did not cut i have such an urge to cut yesterday haiis english miss sim supervisor was there so the whole class kept real quiet and listened to her PE ran on the track in the school field eight round ash darren ancheng demi jia mei cui xia felicia haiqail wang kang and a few more ran with us so just ran first round was fast second round to the last round i sort of kept running did not stop a single time so my timing was 15.10 minutes i was happy second girl in after ash so help shih quan and cheng yue mark nice job guys POA did home work so hard?? haiis i dont understand i am really worried for my mid years haiis went up for chinese i sat with yy cause zhi ying never come school today we pass letter class ended went for MATHS new chapter kind of easy but comes with alot of understanding after school me monkey jia mei and alison waited for charmaine lew and yy left school at 4 plus reach there went mac to eat charmaine made me laugh loud today seriously alison and jia mei left us so left me lew and monkey and yy monkey left so peiqi come meet us and off i went.homed.

haiis i have the urge to cut again can i do that maybe i will 62 cuts on my hand haiis. behind a smile there is loads of troubles i dont know why haiis cant even solve one of them is like?? haiis i dont even know whether i have friends that are concern for me.

today is like haiis i dont know i am just a bitch haiis reach home chat with lew and cheong for a while went to class got 2.4 band members no need to run?? cause they got SYF?? after assembly miss seah come and ask me show her lucky i did not cut i have such an urge to cut yesterday haiis english miss sim supervisor was there so the whole class kept real quiet and listened to her PE ran on the track in the school field eight round ash darren ancheng demi jia mei cui xia felicia haiqail wang kang and a few more ran with us so just ran first round was fast second round to the last round i sort of kept running did not stop a single time so my timing was 15.10 minutes i was happy second girl in after ash so help shih quan and cheng yue mark nice job guys POA did home work so hard?? haiis i dont understand i am really worried for my mid years haiis went up for chinese i sat with yy cause zhi ying never come school today we pass letter class ended went for MATHS new chapter kind of easy but comes with alot of understanding after school me monkey jia mei and alison waited for charmaine lew and yy left school at 4 plus reach there went mac to eat charmaine made me laugh loud today seriously alison and jia mei left us so left me lew and monkey and yy monkey left so peiqi come meet us and off i went.homed.

haiis i have the urge to cut again can i do that maybe i will 62 cuts on my hand haiis. behind a smile there is loads of troubles i dont know why haiis cant even solve one of them is like?? haiis i dont even know whether i have friends that are concern for me.

today such a miserable day without my phone haiis the spare phone sucks cant even type fast with it haiis well this morning i sat the bus with ryan he was laughing at me having such a dumb phone maybe i should not even carry a phone around in school haiis bio my pen knife got confiscated this time i real darn pissed dumb shit haiis forget i had to sign an agreement?? dont know whats that CME slept throughout SS miss vasuki found my mindmap i fail cause i did it on the spot haiis RECESS ate went up for chinese miss seah came she look for yy then me she ask me if i was free then she say see her at 2.30 yy got to see her at 2.10?? yar so i was kind of scared?? i dont know why also haii POA i am bound to flunk it well mr goh came in after our lesson he checks everyone work we got all the amount wrong?? stayed back for an hour to get it done called pei qi she came back with char and claudia they waited for me thanks girls yy was inside so i just waited went in talk to miss seah about the problems in my family?? she gave me some advice real good advice thanks done in half an hour of talking miss seah is going to check on me daily?? well nvms waited for yy walk with them to junction eight talk reach there they fetch me to the bus stop anti depress company thanks went home changed out for tuition i did my test met dad then mummy and home.

peiqi thanks for the letter. i hate myself i dont know how to love myself?? haiis maybe i have already lost my identity of myself.

haiis seriously i dont know what to do even if i had a spare phone so what i have no mood to message haiis this morning ran at mat richie just ran with my aunts until 10.30 reach home 11 dad brought us out for lunch haiis ate dad dropped me off at the bus stop at the prata house there got this whole gang came up the gang leader is like 30 plus so is like he put in two bucks and tell the bus driver thats its for two person and the bus driver bo bian must give in lah so yar and got one secondary boy in their gang cant get through then the leader was like what what the secondary boy just take out the card and shoe it damn close to the bus driver well ok everything was somehow ok at that point until they dropped from the bus the boys were like SIAN ah this bus then got this guy from the gang go infront and point middle finger at the bus uncle the bus uncle open the door and started quarelling with the leader they were like quarelling like siao so the bus uncle stop quarelling cause he realised he had a bus load of passengers so reach the tuition haiis my dad message me say once reach home phone return to him haiis i like settle the problem already? i hope so went for tuition i message charmaine test haiis so boring went granny house after that aunt bought food for us to eat eat already all went back haiis three more cuts on my hand it sucks even having this nokia phone i dont like it it doesnt give me the urge to message haiis.

haiis well today early morning i left my house to meet yy charmaine and peiqi at yy there the bus stop we drop yy off at school walk to junction eight to have mac lunch so we started talking and talking bought burger for yy cause she hungry ahmuii came to meet us she ate and walk as we walk back to school yy came out peiqi and charmaine went off to fetch yy to the bus stop me and ahmuii entered the school i dont know why i laugh but haiis i dont know bio lesson i learned what is enzymes only thats all alrights dad came to fetch me the minute i step into the house there go all the nags seriously i hate it is like when sis is around you just treat me like i am nobody haiis nvm walked to bus stop it rain i ran bus came reach toa payoh they got campus superstar there?? watched awhile up for lesson message peiqi awhile lesson ended sit mrt to junction eight dad fetch me from there went to eat haiis my mum kept nagging at me using my phone and hence my dad wants to confiscate haiis no phone=more cuts haiis i dont know what to do we four are having depression?? haiis i really dont know?? homed after that.

hweechang,darren i need DDL lesson haiis.

today was like darn happy cause some people wasnt here the minute i saw no one beside eilene i called monkey and i was like monkey i am sure i will go lunch with you then monkey look at me like ok steady! it darn funny anyway i had a great time in school first period maths poor yy dont be sad yy nvm i message her and misslee kept looking at me suck lah nvm next lesson ss i did not study at all but maybe i will pass bah next chem ah muii confiscated my blade she suck lah tell me see see only then she go confiscate ass her nvm down for recess kind of early talk to yy via phone funny huh? nvm POA i pass my test like finally cause i never pass beofre 27/40 litsne but i dont understand like van said alien language let off late as usual i talk to jia mei on a piece of paper usin chinese weird right went down meet them off to junction eight ate at KFC ok i got a new nick name by lamer cheong and lamer lew how great the laughing budda i was laughing like siao is like we made yy laugh also me then peiqi then charmaine darn funny lah msg alison in KFC? when she is sitting a distance away from me only alrights they wrote rules for me and yy and is like so darn hard pay two dollars for breaking a rule?? jiayan say should put yy one to 5 bucks but we nice never put so me and yy ended breaking the rule many times so sucks lah i want to stop the game so i just diam diam went up to third level diam diam yy talk to me using her phone and i was msging alison when she sit beside me alrights so diam diam haiis sucks lah went off with alison to get home.
tomorrow will be a darn sucky day haiis i guess i shall sit alone tomorrow rather then pissing myself off seeing some people.follower.

alrights yesterday nothing much go school first period is history watched the show for the whole of two period kind of boring and plu the ending is kind of dumb neverminds CME sat there did work and off for physics i was kind of piss off message charmaine lew then yy went down to have recess we all were using phone to communicate we were all talking about the same problem ended went up for chinese i pass 42 yy got 44 yes and i slept and get so high sleeping is the key to passes i guess bio next up darren DDLed with me for one whole period i almost died talking to him and zuo yang went like what what tell me leh sorry zuo yang cant tell lah anyways thanks darren for the DDL sat with ryan fold hearts for the yee shi quan he dont even know how to fold a heart alrights nevermind assembly boring followed charmaine home after school she was taking her own sweet time taking her stuffs?? and somemore she ate an apple alrughts back to school haiis now i owe hweechang something sat there see them play match haiis trg trg trg until 6 coach ask why my face so black all those i did not reply him forget it back home.

today sucks lahs me and jiamei went for HAC silent walk all the way back to class physics haiis seeing some people face just make me want to...haiis test dont know how to do next english it seriously sucks i am going ask my dad to write a letter to change band seriously i dont care who reads my blog is like can you stop cutting in when i am talking to some one when i talk to van you call her name nevermind i go to jia mei you shout jiamei name what the fuck do you want no friends then go find you have them but you chose to come to us so please stop interrupting when people is talking and stop being a complaint queen just because i didnt do the group work and you just like complaint like this i dont know i have complaint to how many people already it seriously sucks lah i hate it to the core ok message ahmuii then yy tell them she think she big meh oh what the shit lah went for recess sucks lah eat with some people haiis just make me boil up for chem messaging halfway tan jia mei confiscate my phone cause i was bluffing her shit you tan jia mie then make me cant message then nvm she conficate but return me without a battery so no phone to use nevermind maths test i am bound to flunk sucks waited for charmaine after school haiis walked to KFC charmaine lew made me laugh all the way KFC we played a game no talking on msn no messaging and no talking face to face so i like paused her many times many laughter with her yy and her fetch me to MRT and tuition nice tuition peaceful so quiet then dad brought me home.

seriously its time for you to change your attitude not only i dislike many people dislikes it you think you are so great pulling friends away go ahead i dont give a damn next time when you grow up i think you will pull away your friend boyfriend oh shit ass you you think you are that great then lets wait and see you will find out and you will know that you arent that great and many people will dislike you dont make me flare up at you, you will regret.

haiis today go school damn sick lah haiis called me say sorry well i have no choice but just to accept haiis go school HAC late walk reach back school english first period headache haiis went to sleep then do a little bit of work PE did not want to run so we jog/walk the two rounds back in 20 minutes bad timing haiis POA did homework i think i passed the test i hope so haiis next monday got test most probably i will flunk recess changed up to chinese i was half awake doing the test i finished it in one period and slept i was too tired to do it properly so if i fail it is not surprising maths hweeling tell me teacher never come but in the end got nevermind only do three piece of paper on similarity and congruent finish met up with them haiis the more i see it the more fuck up i get haiis maybe i will be gone from this school not the world dont be surprise if you see me playing for other teams haiis went back home daddy came back at 4 bathe went to SC haiis why why why why cant she stay forever why? tears just rolled down as i see it. but i cant do anything. went home *** again i have no choice i dont know who to turn to i am dealing all this on my own haiis.msg yy and home yy some people just dont deserve you getting mad over them ok??

haiis today went school bio cut up the basketballs needed it for notice board so cut them next lesson CME listened next lesson SS studied recess wanted to do notice board but amanda accidentally lock so chinese next headache slept POA listen but still dont understand haiis after school all went to junction eight to eat vanessa and ahmuii confiscate my penknife and scissors haiis i cant survive and so monkey bought it back for me so now i got eight blades i shall keep one at home for usage thats the only way i can survive haiis went back to school did the notice board make halfway i left dad ask me not to go for tuition i agreed went with him there haiis how many time do you want me to go SC in a week haiis went there aunt and uncles all there sat there daddy did not want to come home with me so he just gave me money to go home on my own and home.

since you did not give a fucking care so why should i care i cant imagine i had a friend like you my god other people are more concern of me than of you since you like me to cut so much i shall cut my whole hand for you to see haiis this world just bring me problems everyday and you come and say sarcasticly you want to cut your ass do you even know the reason behind it if you dont know just shut the fuck up do you even bother to ask if you ask now i will not even tell you cause you are not fit to know and i wont tell you anything you think you know things well then so be it i dont give a fucking care.

haiis i dont know what got over me today haiis i feel like i am dying haiis today woke up sneezing non stop dad brought us to have lunch at 12 eat already went home and bathe change went for tuition sat there for two hours did work went to junction eight to meet mummy and jie jie bought my stuffs from popular for the notice board blow up the picture but only tomorrow can get it haiis walked to granny house saw band members daddy came to pick me and mummy up went to the place tears just fall unknowingly i miss her i miss her why why why i keep asking myself why is it my fault haiis why why why haiis i cant stand it any longer haiis called second aunt come fetch me daddy and mummy stayed there i miss her so badly i feel so guity haiis.

alrights today i met up with muii cause i want to get the gyss bball girls photo printed out so i called her out i woke up late at 9 and i was suppose to meet her at 9.30 so i made a dash for junction eight reach there almost same time as her went to eat mac breakfast kodak opened and went to download the photos in went arcade play and home reach home haiis face four walls again and i cried haiis as long as i am alone the only thing i can do is cry i have been crying for days even when watching the funniest show i can also cry sighs i really dont know what to do to make myself stop crying haiis my dad came back i ran into the toliet and lock myself clean up myself make sure not to show any trace that i cried i bathe and change and went out for tuition rained reach toa payoh and tuitioned till 6 headed to junction eight to collect the photos and my dad pick me up to have dinner quarell again with my mother look like we cant even get along together well forget it...and home.

look like i have to deal with all these things alone haiis look like i have to face it together with ********...

haiis why why why why all thses things must happen now... my second uncle just got out of hospital and another of my aunty is in haiis why why why and some more she is in ICU haiis i cant go my dad dont allow me too cause ICU is for close relatives and adults only haiis things just get worser day by day... haiis...

haiis today woke up with a terrible headache in my head went back to sleep till 10 use com until my dad told me we were going out so we went out to eat at crystal jade restaurant at taka reach there such a long queue we decided to go to another place but i don't know for what reason the manager came out and ask my dad to go in so me and my sis just started laughing and got in to the restaurant skipping peoples queue found out from my dad that was his friend so we got in first thanks to mr manager alrights ate my mum came to join us ate finish wanted to go bugis but my sis say she did not want so went home and played com haiis staring at four walls just make me think of more stuffs haiis my sis lend me watch her world trade centre nice show just very boring alrights maybe going vivo later see how it goes.

haiis i feel like i am one person left in the world trade centre stuck under heavy rocks seeing many people brought out alive up there but just no one is there to save me up haiis in this dark and eerie place one by one noises just fade away just like my life every minute every second it ust passes by and soon i will be dead. my heart is just getting heavier and heavier day by day i guess the only i can resolve all this is to just fly off the building and land on the ground and thats when all my problems are solve.

haiis things arent going smoothly the way i thought it would be sighs alrights this morning i manage to get out of my bed and push myself to go to school reach school got HAC walk with ah mui and we manage not to be the last so we were not punished alrights physics how hateful i don't learn anything from this subject.. english next i was playing with van's wallet her handphone and miss siim let us watch the video on superman the song by five for fighting very nice song she teach us the lyrics alrights 11 release met up with them haiis the more i see the way things goes the more i am going to die haiis went to monkey house borrowed her jersey pants thanks off to eat pasta mania with them did not talk all the way cause i found that i have nothing to talk to them yy came to meet us when we were at fourth level went to change myself did not want to trouble them change le went back to meet them and off to the stadium how boring sports day went there running events tele match we clinge first good job girls alrights off to watch their relay and then all were made to sit on the track and grass to watched the cheerleading group claudia was laughing at the trouphy being broken into two piece in less than an hour alrights dad fetch me home and i went for tuition mrt and cabb home after that.

i am so going to break down no listening ears for me... haiis if one day i do die i guess thats the time i cant stand it anymore i wanted to break down infront of you guys some times but i decided to stop haiis went home and started crying haiis all my troubles are all bottle inside waiting to come out but no one is just willing to open the bottle cap to help sighs i guess i have to deal with all these things myself... there is no one in this world except me...sighs.

alrights this morning decided to go school though i had a one day MC i cannot afford to miss HISTORY too important le history i has such a headache man watch video all those only and off we went for CME thomas talk about his religion i slept sorry... headache lah but my fever gone le thats was a good sign alrights after CME off for physics so tired that i took a nap haiis sick sick sick lah so no energy alrights down for recess ate until no energy reach chinese class teacher never teach she was teaching shari and grayson some stuffs ting xie and off for bio listen music and stuff alrights off to the hall sat that headache already then DM made us go down to the scorching hot sun and sit thats when my fever came back again and had a terrible headache sighs and up to the hall again students talk about their trip to xi an and some other places huanni was laughing her ass off cause weiloon say he wanted to go korea and eat ra mien so huanni was laughing her ass off alrights we got delayed cause of the talk for tomorrow sports day stay in school with yy waited for alison many came back to school to play ball alison and hweechang went to pasta and eat first me and charmaine lew went next saw bob and jean alrights reach pasta terrible headache plus so tired i slept at there slept for awhile yy and janice came janice went to buy her friendship band junction 8 was so damn cold that i had to go home. alrights back home daddy brought me go see doctor again i wasted money again neverminds i got MC again see whether i can make it to school tomorrow a not haiis temp now is like so damn high 38.5 i can faint anytime now. medicine aint working.

haiis i shall post first before i get really fed up alrights this morning i sat the early bus to meet muii in school so apprently we were both late and i caught yy flu so dizzy at my bus stop lahs no energy le go school kind of ok le but during HAC it came back again me and jia mei was walking so walk all the way after HAC miss sim taught us some i don't know what thingy cause i was so dizzy and got such a headache that i slept for her two periods i think she is angry with me everytime her lesson i always sleep de anyway after her lesson stand up whao the world i like turning round and round walk to pe there that ah muii ask me pei her go pe so i just say ok los miiss koh say our five stations is like 2 weks down the road so we had to run two rounds today ash say we all run in a straight line so i just say ok run run run end up me and eliene was talking to ryan chan instead of running we ran all the way to the end and me and eilene ran past ryan chan at the last part after that watch charmaine lew play ball and miss koh was angry with us i don't know what happen but they say is don't know who hit the ball off the fence so yar she did not allow us to change POA lesson did homework haiis i seriously don't know what you are doing miss koh nvm she let us off late went down ate and change up for chinese lesson headache again slept the opera that the chinese teacher show is like so piercing lah forget i still slept for one period and off we went for maths my hands and leg were numb for i don't know what reason listen in maths lesson time flies so yar met up with them jean went off with bob then i decided to wait for yy myself then alison ran and say that cip cancel so alrights we went for lunch reach bus stop haiis forget it i shall not say anything anymore went to j8 i saw e3 guys they were there haiis reach KFC i decided not to eat no appetite so i just sit there and listen to my own songs they ate finish le yy call me told her we at junction so she came over to meet us walk with them for awhile and off i went home haiis i just got this fucked up feeling haiis.

monkey: it is alright if you want me to walk with her just stop spreading.

i shall make a post before i fall flat on my bed morning already i was boiling heart fill with hatred and anger haiis assembly jia wei so lame lahs my god he was talking all the lame shit things during the assembly time prinicpal talk alrights after that went for three periods of bio free i got my kappa shoe le thanks to tan jia mei she bought them for me hee hee so now we like got the same shoe miss carol koh sister teach us how to tie the one lined shoe lace she is clever lahs and please lahs for pit sake don't be so rude when me and jia mei are talking don't come and cha jing lai lahs we don't like it ok alrights off for the next lesson CME miss teo so boring thomas talk about his religion all those i slept and the class was clapping she woke me up and ask em to clap also she is so lame alrights off for ss so bored miss vasuki made us copy some notes for our next weeks test recess le went for chinese yy was sick lahs but she did not want to go to the sick bay i message her charmaine lew and ah muii i message yy funny hurh we are like in the same class cause we don't wanna scream so use handphone i tio caught lahs that fucking chinese teacher go die lahs everytime not happy with me one nvm i message and off we went for POA lahs mr goh was inside he got one buck from ashley as she did not bring her book and miss diana koh continue with her lesson van said she wanna be guai kia but apprently she could not cause i ka chiaoing her lesson ended on time finally for once alrights went off to 7 eleven to eat alrights back to school change coach was early and he did not know the new password alrights did some one hand lay up left right up alison was teaching me and monkey all the ballet signs what coach do lah damn funny we were like singing the barney song together to monkey i love you you love me... so funny lahs alison is super high lahs she is mad lah alrights off away from trg walk to junction eight with hweechang and i sat mrt i waited for sara for 10 mins she is late reach there i was messaging yy lahs then message ah muii tuition so after tuition i went home alone reach home at nine.

this is what i praise janice!

alrights i shall update i am very pissed off ok played my com in the morning talk to yy and janice i praise her she must thank me alrights off for tuition at novena reach there half an hour earlier los haiis i like receive a meesage from him saying that he was grounded cant go out haiis nvm i pang seh him yesterday today he pang seh me nvm fair but you must study hard lah ok?? don't let your parents ground you ok went for tuition so boring i was yawing and the teacher was like ni bu gou shui ah then i just say dui ying wei lai shang ni de ke mei you jing sen and he started laughing he is nuts lah it is not even funny alrights decided to meet up with my sis to buy her bag for her birthday she was like an hour late how great i called her at 4 and she say she was changing le i called her at 4.30 she told me she just left the house walking to the bus stop ass her nvm i walked around myself at 5 she came and i said good night to her yawns man wait for her can die walk ard first floor second floor third floor and fourth floor she did not see anything she like so we decided on good friday we shall be good to ourself and buy ourself some new bags alrights we walk into the arcade cause my sis never see before she is dumb alrights saw this lady and her two sons they were playing the jackpot game must use the sweets to hit the activator and then must hit the jackpot they sat there for an hour plus changing money continuosly 50 bucks 20 bucks me and my sis was like oh my god so they got jack pot three times but they spent like 100 over bucks for a two weeks worth of sweets and three toys i don't think is worth it alrights we were running late so off we went to my granny house started messaging charmaine lew again as usual went to dino cause today all the got car people all not here my baby cousin was not here cause he tio hand food and mouth diesease i think his PAP must close for disinfection?? i am not sure i shall call him tomorrow so went off to dino in 410 my aunt came along too me and my sis bought bubble tea ate mee siam 8.05 still messaging charmaine lew she told me she will be online at 9 but when i reach home she was late by 15 mins she bluff me lahs alright she was learning her ting xie online with me thats cute ok after learning ting xie off we went to play audition she let me play so hard de monkey joined in too so three of us play and of course i was the last alrights she play for awhile she went off le CHARMAINElew you better drink more water and less soft drinks later you tomorrow cannot talk to me! alrights so here i am blogging byebye. and yy two week is short don't think so much about it!

you always say that i only know how to eat drink and sleep and never study but have you really seen me studying before obviously you have not cause you always come back at nine plus ten how would you have seen me doing that and of course you darling daughter always does her work at ten obviously you would see her doing her work it is obvious lah you like her more than you like me so what i don't give a damn even daddy isn't that biased daddy buys things for me but when i ask you to get something for me urgently you go like last minute tell me i won't get it for you but when your darling daughter needs something urgently you ask dad to fetch her out no matter how far is it you will go and get it for her so what am i in this family a ghost or someone you just gave birth to and throw her aside fine throw me into a orphange i would be happier there definitely at least there is like heaven here is like hell how i wish i could just grow up faster and get into the society and earn money and rent a house outside with no one nagging at me daily on what to do give me all sort of tuition which is useless the teacher does not even know how to teach she is in RJC i am in GYSS one is top one is down so what does not mean that a student in the top school is always the best have you seen a down graded school students have more potential then a student in a top school i bet you haven cause you only judge the book by its cover you always say my results is poor but when i improve you just say is this all you can give me but when your darling daughter just improve by a bit you give her whatever she wants so what you dumb shit have you ever know how i feel fucked off i don't give a fucking damn about what you think this plain BIASITY! if you ever make me scream at you, cause if i do that it means that i will be leaving this house and is for good...haiis all parents in the world is the same the always prefer the smarter and cleverer one the stupid and dumb one is always discriminated.....forget it since you hate me so much dumped me into the rubbish dump i would be much much much happier. dad ask me not to quarell with you but it was you who pick up the quarell with me always use dad as a shield go on go tell dad what i have done but in my heart i know that i did not do the things you said....