Alright i'm not suppose like to use the computer at all,
but its ok just for a 15 minutes or so,
my sister just taught me history,
i was looking through all her notes on Hitler and so on,
i'm going to print it later, it's so useful,
alright yesterday paper?
it was super duper hard, i was struggling for the first time,
and i finished it only at 12 damn it,
i think i'm going to fail it but i did well for my Paper One and Three,
so its kind of ok, alright after that i went to walk around junction eight for awhile,
and went to LJS and home-ed, mugging time now.
Alright stupid samantha, stop making a nuisance of yourself and shut up,
like what jean say, you are irritating, i shall shut up from now onwards then.

Running a little temparature now,
well i can't afford to fall sick now cause it just two days away from exams,
i shall continue to study till 11 then sleep,
well i understand my POA today, it's a good thing.

Maybe sometimes sitting under your block and feeling the breeze,
let one know what they've done wrong,
what they've miss out in their life,
what they've have not felt in their entire life,
& what they missed dearly,
i miss my grandma,
i miss my childhood,
i miss the days my parents treat me as a little kid,
i miss the days i perform infront of my parents,
i miss my primary school days,
i never felt family love after primary school,
i never felt how a parent loves her child dearly,
i never ever felt how is it like to be loved,
i want to know what is love about,
i want to know if love really exist,
but maybe i should put a full stop to all these things,
but i know i'll always leave a comma behind,

3 Grandsons with Grandpa.













5 GrandDaughters with Grandpa.













Granpa's Son & Daughters.













GrandSons&Daughters with Grandpa.













The three ladies.

Cousins.

Squeezing time.

The fire lights up the star.

Beautiful picture, all heads in.

Heads in.

Me, Zayne, Fiona & Amanda.

Romantic Dinner.

Birthday cake.

West-end Boutique Restaurant.

Alright i was seriously very lazy to post yesterday cause it was late when i came back,
well yesterday morning i went for my three hour tuition,
i manage to complete Mrs Quah homework there,
and i bought lunch for my sister and went home,
rest for a while and out again for my english tuition with Jia Wei,
after tuition i rush down to my grandma house,
my aunts and uncle reach already, so we headed down to the restaurant,
we kept taking photos, from table to table we kept taking till our food came,
ate already and we took photos with our grandfather,
sang the birthday song and we all hug him,
after eating, my uncle decided to go Vivo City since it was just round the corner,
we all headed there but my mother, father, uncle all went off first,
Vivo city was not so crowded, we had our fun there enjoying the sea view,
well we saw this couple quarelling, they scream and shout,
guy: i can change for you.
girl: i don't want you to change, i want you to be what you are!
we walked away and decided to go back and watch again,
guy: you don't attitude me
girl: Scream is not attiude! ( repeat it three times)
guy: Ok, Ok i'm sorry for what i've done.
girl: sorry is too late already!
girl: you have not been a good boyfriend, when i ask you something to do, you should have think, ok i'm a good boyfriend then you should do this for me!
guy: (keeping quiet).
alright thats all i heard with my cousins, and we were immitating them,
my aunt before we walked off scolded them and said they were hell noisy,
the whole whole was looking at them,
my aunt said next time this kind of situation just break,
we all had our fun there, but it still seems funny without grandma,
in the end we all walked around again, and finally back to our cars,
Jam on the way home, reach home at 11.40.
Pictures in the next post.
I dreamt of Grandma, but she left so soon.

I'm kind of bored got i got nothing to do now,
i'm shall go read my SS notes later on if i have the mood,
well today, had English in the morning did the oral test,
kind of easy but i did not write much cause nothing got into my head,
i went for Maths next, we talked about our Secondary one life,
hell load of stuffs, love letters and so on,
hilarious, me Ashley Zuo Yang we talked almost the whole lesson,
next was POA, hell boring i slept for awhile only,
Recess-ed, Chemistry, went through notes and the test came,
it was quite hard in the front, at the back quite easy,
but i've no confidence to pass it at all ): ,
after school i suppose to follow my dog to the polyclinic but i did not, sorry ): ,
went to meet with my girls instead, talked at MOS,
then to open air, we played truth or dare there,
i never got spin at, so i had fun telling the others what to do,
P&C no one is allowed to say out, after a hell load of fun, we all headed home.
I've got no choice, but to repeat the past mistakes.

Alright i'm just so lazy to post,
today had a little talk with Mr goh, regarding some issures,
and me and Ashley went back to class,
while my girlfriends had detention,
POA, SS, Chemistry, Chinese,
thats for the front part,
so many subjects right? nevermind, i went through all,
after recess was Biology and Mr Goh is funny,
we all love him now, Miss Ngiam came back to teach us,
went for Physics, Thomas cried, ohyes, that irritance,
me and my tall friend hates him, always finding trouble with us,
after school waited for nothing, i went for tuition with Sara after that.
I tolerating all i can just for you not to scold me,
butiseeminvisibleinyoureyes,youdon'treallycareofwhatididallyouknowistoscoldme,
i'mfedupwithyoumaybebecausei'mjustsoinvisibleinyoureyes.***fes.

ENOUGH OF ALL THESE RUBBISH, I HAVE GOT ENOUGH OF IT ALREADY, YOU TREAT ME LIKE AS THOUGH I'M A INVISIBLE PERSON, LIKE HELLO, I'M HERE NOT INVISIBLE OK? I TALK TO YOU, YOU GAVE ME A COLD SHOULDER AND WHEN I ASK YOU SOME THINGS AGAIN, YOU CALLED ME TO SHUT UP. & WHEN AMANDA ASK YOU SOMETHING YOU GO, YES, WHAT ABOUT MINE? AM I LIKE A NO-NO HUMAN AT ALL? I'M STILL PRESENT OK? THOUGH I ALWAYS QUARELL WITH YOU, AND YOU ALWAYS LIKE TO COMPLAINT ABOUT ME, I STILL TREAT YOU AS MY MOTHER. HOW MUCH HATRED I HAD WITH YOU, I JUST SWALLOW IT DOWN AND I DON'T WANT TO RAKE UP ALL THE PAST, CAUSE I BELIEVE THE FUTURE WILL BE A BETTER ONE, BUT I'M SERIOUSLY WRONG, I'M WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING, ABOUT HOW WILL THE FUTURE BE LIKE, HOW WILL EVERYTHING BE LIKE. I'M JUST SO WRONG, I'M IN A STATE WHERE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM, WHERE AM I NOW? YOU ARE MAKING ME LIKE THAT, NOT THAT I WANT TO, YOU ALWAYS DEMORALIZED ME BY SAYING THAT I WILL FAIL, AND YES I HAVE THIS MINDSET NOW THAT I MAYBE CHANNELED TO 4N NEXT YEAR, WHO GAVE ME THIS THOUGHT, WHO MAKE ME THINK LIKE THIS? ITS YOU, YOU TOLD ME YOU WILL NEVER PASS, YOU NEVER EVEN REWARD ME WHEN I DO WELL, ITS ALWAYS DADDY, ALL YOU SAY IS YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT RIGHT? WELL YES I CAN, BUT CAN'T YOU JUST REAWRD ME OR GIVE ME SOME ENCOURAGING WORDS THAT WILL PUSH ME FURTHER AND LET ME STUDY EVEN HARDER THAN BEFORE, THATS THE REASON WHY I DON'T WANT TO SHOW YOU MY REPORT BOOK ALWAYS, YOU WILL ALWAYS NAG AND SAY YOU ARE JUST SO DUMB. YES I'M DUMB BUT LOOK AT YOURSELF BEFORE SCOLDING PEOPLE, I'M DISAPOINTED AND ANGRY, DISAPOINTED CAUSE I HAVE A MOTHER WHO DON'T REALLY CARE THAT SHE HAS TWO DAUGHTERS, IT SEEMS LIKE SHE HAS ONLY ONE, I'M ANGRY CAUSE I CAN'T TOLERATE IT ANYMORE. I HAD ENOUGH OF EVERYTHING, TEASING IN SCHOOL, EVERYTHING, LITERALLY EVERYTHING, I HAVE NO GOAL IN LIFE NOW, I JUST TAKING A STEP DAY BY DAY, HOPING IT WOULD BE A BETTER ONE BUT IT TURN OUT TO BE SOMETHING WORST OFF, I'M TIRED, THATS ALL I CAN SAY.

Alright i'm going to post cause i'm so bored,
my sister just took my phone and started taking photos of herself,
ok now my phone has literally alot of her photos,
Nevermind, anyway Jeanette and my Dear Dog came to my house today,
they used my gym, My dog was the lastest and she always said she will be the first there,
so we walked to the gym and worked out,
i think my dog gain weight instead of losing, she was eating sweets,
anyway me and Jeanette work out alot,
after that we got to push my dog away to home cause she can't come to my house,
we talked her out for 15 minutes ok and we agreed to go home,
after that i headed home and went to rest and eat my lunch,
at 3 went for my tuition, i got myself a pen, a shirt and a pants i'm happy,
jeanette went to the popular also, but she was there later than i,
Jia Wei went to cut hair so he missed one whole part of the lesson,
Nervermind he keep asking me for answers, bad guy,
after tuition i headed to my Grandma house to wait for my mum,
and end up alot of my aunts and uncle came,
so we went for dinner together, my cousin house is in a mess cause they were packing the storeroom,
i saw my aunt's last time sewing machine, my Grandfather bought it for them for their O's,
after eating went back to my grandma house and home.

Alright i'm lazy to post but still it was a fun day so i've got to post,
anyway we got caught early in the morning by Mr Goh,
cause we chase Miss Ngiam away yesterday, he chided us when we aren't really in the wrong,
alright maybe but Miss Ngiam should not have scolded us for no apparent reason also,
Nevermind about it, went for english i listened because Miss Aljunied was teaching some compo stuffs,
after that was Maths, Miss Wong was kind of piss,
she changed my seat, i can't sit with Dear Asho anymore,
went down for POA, it was kind of boring but i had fun with Jia Mei tickling her,
went for Recess,& up for Chemistry, Mrs Quah scolded those who never do their work for ONE whole period,
so lesson-ed only for a period, i was expecting more, after school waited for Ashley,
& off we went to Sakae Sushi, Jia Mei and Alison ate at Delifrance,
because the buffet only starts at 3, we went to Novena to shop first,
went there and immediately went to Flash and Splash,
well Ashley and Demi within 15 minutes both spent 80++ bucks there,
they bought the same Volcom bag, me and Vanessa only stared at them buy,
& went to buy the muffins and off back to Bishan,
I went to buy my Little Miss Greedy shirt, & saw Demi's mum,
after that off to Sakae, we had hell loads of fun there,
we spilled drinks and i took some videos it was hilarious,
oh thank you Auntie for the meal, Demi's Mum paid our bill, thanks,
we ate alot for an hour, its like tons, ate finish and we went to walk around,
Me, Demi, Vanessa has the same keychaine, its Jack,
& i got two new pooh keychains, i'm happy,
went home with Ashley, she wanted to sit 52 which resulted in,
we seeing three 410 White and Green Plates, & two 55,
we waited for 45 minutes then the bus came, we both were dead tired and home-ed.
Stop all the teasing, I hate it but i know i got no control over it, since i'm like so invisible.

Alright i'm lazy to post but still it was a fun day so i've got to post,
anyway we got caught early in the morning by Mr Goh,
cause we chase Miss Ngiam away yesterday,
he chided us when we aren't really in the wrong,
alright maybe but Miss Ngiam should not have scolded us for no apparent reason also,
Nevermind about it, went for english i listened because Miss Aljunied was teaching some compo stuffs,
after that was Maths, Miss Wong was kind of piss,she changed my seat,
i can't sit with Dear Asho anymore,went down for POA,
it was kind of boring but i had fun with Jia Mei tickling her,
went for Recess,& up for Chemistry,
Mrs Quah scolded those who never do their work for ONE whole period,
so lesson-ed only for a period, i was expecting more,
after school waited for Ashley,& off we went to Sakae Sushi,
Jia Mei and Alison ate at Delifrance,because the buffet only starts at 3,
we went to Novena to shop first,went there and immediately went to Flash and Splash,
well Ashley and Demi within 15 minutes both spent 80++ bucks there,
they bought the same Volcom bag,
me and Vanessa only stared at them buy,
& went to buy the muffins and off back to Bishan,
I went to buy my Little Miss Greedy shirt, & saw Demi's mum,after that off to Sakae,
we had hell loads of fun there, we spilled drinks and i took some videos it was hilarious,
oh thank you Auntie for the meal,
Demi's Mum paid our bill, thanks,we ate alot for an hour,
its like tons, ate finish and we went to walk around,
Me, Demi, Vanessa has the same keychaine,
its Jack,& i got two new pooh keychains, i'm happy,
went home with Ashley, she wanted to sit 52 which resulted in,
we seeing three 410 White and Green Plates, & two 55,
we waited for 45 minutes then the bus came,
we both were dead tired and home-ed.
Stop all the teasing, I hate it but i know i got no control over it, since i'm like so invisible.

I don't know what to blog as school is so boring,
well Maths, free period cause Miss Wong went to invigilate,
Miss Vasuki lesson;SS, we made her laughed,
Recess; eat,
Chinese; Test, i know how to do with the help of modern technology,
History; some boring stuffs, and Jia Mei pinched me,
After school Programme
Physics; i was reading Russell Lee book 15,
Junction Eight-ed with Monkey, Jeanette, Vanessa, Charmaine, Katrina, Jia Mei, & XueFen,
I bought my delicious youghurt and i went home with Spongebob.
& Sorry dog, i will get back your science workbook tomorrow,(I'm so absentminded),
&Demi thank you for the High School Musical Keychain.
Two Things i can't do till 17th october
1) Felix and I can't celebrate our birthdays on 13th October with our family.
2) Can't go to anyone house, except for Christians who don't believe in these Chinese Customs.

Basically i just got my ass off my bed and help to do some tiring chores,
then out for lunch at serangoon,
& went home and out for tuition, but when i reach there they wasn't,
& i called my mother she went oh yah i forget to tell you,
well i quarelled with her over the darn phone, she got slam down by me a few times,
so i dashed for my english lesson, i was late,
and it resulted in me sitting in a crowd of boys,
after that my cousins said they wanted bubble tea so i went to buy for them,
went up to my grandma house and started talking there,
soon all my uncle and aunties came talk all those,
& watch Bruce Almighty, and went home, that makes my day.
It feels funny without my grandma constant naggings, sighs.
I'm sneezing and using tissue like its free, & eating panodol till it ran out of stock, i'm not going for training tomorrow, i'm just going to do the chinese project worksheet and going home.

Alright i woke up damn early today,
like at 9.15 i bathe and i went out for my tuition,
cause i missed alot of tuition i've got to make up,
went for tuition with Sara we were there for three hours?
or even lesser i forget i wandered about and i watched a volleyball match,
well Ix Shen and Ben Ong was there they were just beside me,
soon my mum came went to the bank make all the procedures,
and she just walk off, then she call me come meet her,
waste of my time, i just went for my english tuition with Jia Wei,
did the sentence structure,after that my dad came to fetch me,
& i complained to him, i said some people call me meet her,
& that some people just don't care about me,
Went to fetch my grandfather for dinner, we had a good dinner,
after that i went home with my aunt.
Sorry Jia Wei for being Dao uh?

Three simple things i did today,
-Tuition-ed
-Met up with my cousins & Sean, took some dumb photos?
-Eat medicine.
-Thats my day.
&Reporters are total craps, don't ever believe their words, cause they assume, they don't confirm.

Alright i was suppose to follow Jean, Van and Kat to sing Kbox today?
but i did not feel like and plus i had tuition so i did not go,
morning i woke up early? i started doing my holidays homework,
did a little bit on chemistry and i went to watch TV,
my sister woke up and off we went to junction eight,
ate at thai express with my aunt and my two cousins,
my cousin went back while my younger cousin followed me my mother and my sis out,
went out for awhile, bought stuffs, then went back to junction eight again,
went to NTUC to grab some stuffs,
& they went home i went for my tuition,
so long i had not had my tuition did a little work there and went home,
went home eat medicine, cause my cousin pass his fever to me,
in fact almost three of my cousins have fever already,
going to my grandma house tomorrow to see my grandfather,
thats all.

Alright this morning i just went to collect my Grandma Ashes,
each grand children must put in one,
then we walk all the way to her block there,
block E, 0102, she called home there, we all prayed and all of us had to kneel down,
& say what we wanted to say to my grandma,
then we went downt to burnt paper again,
then all went to my grandma house to clear her things, she got alot of photographs,
we all saw and started teasing our parents? i was looking at it,
i slept for awhile, then woke up and help clear some stuffs,
we are all going to frame up the photo,
now my cousins and aunts at my house, i'm going to my grandma house later at 10,
cause tomorrow is the 7th day, according to the Chinese,
the dead will come back to see us for awhile, just do everything as normal,
so yea thats all for the day.
I miss my Grandma, i'm hope she's doing fine.

STAY STRONG COUSINS.
today was the crementation ceromony which is the last day of the wake,
had not been home for three days,
well thats all, tomorrow we will be collect my Grandma Ashes,
anyway today was a very emotional scene when it was push in,
my 5 year old cousin cried he knew what was going on,
goodbye grandma.